Went away to Fredricksburg and had a great time.  Even ran every morning that I was there.  It was nice to have a change of scenery.  It truly seemed to make the run easier, or maybe it was all the guilt from the food and wine I had.  It seems for every step I take forward I take some back.  I seem to be in a spot I am stuck in.  I so desperately want to be in the best shape and yet I am finding it soooo hard to keep on the right track.  Maybe such is life, maybe everyday can not be perfect and you just have to accept that and keep on.  Maybe being so hard on myself is not the best idea, or is it?  Is being forgiving making it easier for me to not DO MY BEST???  Uggh such a dilemma.  Does it really have to be this hard.  I have gotten thru a mastectomy, chemo and other surgeries but yet I can not control my love of crackers.... RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!

HOT HOT HOT

Lots of changes in my life over the last  few weeks.  My husband got a great promotion, I have decided to discontinue any and all medications for Cancer treatment and jut live healthy, I am ramping up and truly training to run a 1/2 marathon in January, I sold my aerobics business and am just sub teaching where ever I am needed, I am considering switching jobs and I have planned a trip for myself and my husband to Rome.  I am feeling a little overwhelmed.   I feel as if the pace is more than I can keep up with.  After making these changes to my fitness schedule I am a little worried that I am not doing enough to maintain or maybe even help myself lose wwieght.  I have taught aerobics fr so long and done nothing else to be honest I think I was"used" to it.  I feel like my body needs a change of pace, but I am scared of thi whole running thing.   I can do aerobics for 2 hours straight, but running, after 6 minutes everything hurts?  How can this be.  I am doing 3.1 miles and I am drenched in sweat and feel completely exhausted.  IS this normal, am I normal? Maybe I do not want the answer to this.  I think the other piece of control I must get is my eating. I do know how to eat and what to eat, but boy is is work.  I have never been the girl who could eat whatever,  I am alwys the one who has to diet.  I can not remember the last time I was NOT on a diet.  Even thru cancer treatment I dieted and exercised. Most people lose weight with chemo, NOT ME.... go figure.  I am writing everything down and trying to get back o the basics.  It seems like such a struggle...I guess such is life.  Put your big girl panties on and get over it...

Marathon is right around the corner

Seems so hot to try to run.  A friend said that running in Texas is like running in soup. Well actually like running thru a swamp.  But the marathon is right around the corner so get over it and keep going.  Worked out and did a cardio class today and then spent 8 hours building a fence in my yard.  That is some work.  My arms feel like limp noodles after all that hammering.  To think a year ago today I was in bed after having chemo and now I am building fences.  Funny how life can change so quickly.  I guess sometimes that is a good thing. It is Saturday so I eat and enjoy and do not post my food. I am looking forward to the first class with my friend Marissa. Tips on eating and health, no matter how much you think you know you can always learn more....I am very excited.  I am also really focused because in July I am heading to Italy and I want to be at my best.

Oh my God I just signed up for a marathon, am I nuts????

I am goin down and really gonna need to pick up the pace.  I am going to run in my first marathon.  I am running to prove that cancer has not taken control of my llife.  I am in charge and I can do this....